Diary of a Broken Heart
by Suzumi Tamao
Summary: Oh, happy day. Nagisa is with Shizuma, and all is right with the world. Except that it is not. Tamao doesn't think so. It's time to see her actions and thoughts after the etoile election where she lost her true love. TamaoxNagisa, Tamaox?. Multiple Pairs
1. Rainbow, oh Rainbow

Rainbow, Oh rai-...

....No..How..how did it go? At this point, I..can not even bring myself to remmember.

...So many memories..So important, and yet....I don't want to..

...But I have to remmember. Rainbow, Oh Rainbo-...My pencil dropped. Argh, I'll have to pic-...What's this?..

...This thing lying on the floor..My...my..

...Of course she wouldn't take something so stupid with her. It's just a stupid stupid 'good luck' charm I made for her.

...'She' could buy her a much nicer one.

...Oh, Nagisa-chan, my nagisa-chan..I..I still...To this day, I don't understand why you -Wet spots have dried over time, causing illegibility-

Since the day you came, I had been the perfect friend. I did every single thing I could for you? Who always cheered you up..it was others helped, but..but..

Whenever you didn't know what something was, I told you.  
When you needed something I was there.  
I can't think of a single time I made you cry.  
But 'she' made you cry constantly.  
She built you up with sob-stories, and tried to pick you out as the one to help her You were her doll. She tried to make you into her 'New Kaori' in my eyes.

Hanging around her...Every other week, you'd wind up crying. You never cried because of me. But I always made you better. Then you went back to her.

The year came. We got chosen to attend the Etoile election.  
...I was so incredibly happy. Etoile is in partners, I actually got you as My Partner.. -Slightly illegible from dried wet spots on the paper-

In my head, it meant I would finally...If we won, I would get to be with my Nagisa-chan forever..It wasn't even the thought of Intimacy, just the thought of being paired up with you so romantically, I..I just...

But then...She..it's all HER fault..That...that evil woman..I..I swore to protect you, but I let her have you.  
Why was I such a fool?  
Baka...baka..! -A slight stain of red-

...As I stood there, during the after-party..Or, I guess you'd call it that..No one found me. I hid in my dorm, for some reason..No one..no one even came looking..Did no one care? I just..Why...why did it have to be like this, nagisa-chan?  
W-why did you choose here over me!?D-doshde?  
I-it doesn't..I've run it through my head 47 times..It still..I've gone over so many scenarios, and it doesn't add up! Everything points to you being with me, your best friend..

How much I would give to be under that umbrella with you just..one more time..I would give my life for a single second.  
...I know what I'll write..now..Two poems..Two poems to end it..To bring a close to my chapter of sorrow..I'll send them to the literature club, but I know I can't read them.

If I read them I would break down crying, thinking of you, my...my Nagisa-chan.  
-Roommate-  
A girl staring through the window.  
She stares out, awaiting for her roommate to return.  
A feeling of De Ja Vu overcomes her.  
A tear falls.  
She wonders why it just fell.  
Everything's going great.  
Her roommate is off in love, happy.  
She'd waited three years for a roommate She was so happy when she finally got one, and yet.  
Now she awaits behind the window.  
She stares out, awaiting for her roommate to return As she stares out, the wind, the howling wind.  
It slowly sweeps all emotions away, protecting her.  
Through the seasons, she stares out the window.  
A year, two..it passes by so quickly.

She gives up. The pressure on her heart.  
A heart can't take it...A shattering sound is heard.  
It's heard around the world, Her heart...it is broken. 


	2. Voyeur

Disclaimer: I do not own Strawberry Panikku! and make no money off of my writings. You were in my sight again today.  
Well...You didn't know it, but you were.  
I don't usually spy, but...How can I not worry about My Nagisa-chan?  
I can barely sleep.  
I spied through the walls of the greenhouse as you spoke to Shizuma.  
It was kinda hard to hear, but I...I heard what I needed to.

Love...ne.  
You spoke to her, chatted friendly...L-like I wish you would still do with me.  
..Then I saw something that put me into shock for a few faces drew nearer, breaths landing on eachother, eyes twinkling until...u-until..

..Doshde....

But..having to see such a horrible nightmare was worth it.  
I overheard that you were returning to the dorm tonight to pack so you can go off and live with Shizuma when you're not in school.  
...This means I really won't have a roommate anymore. That means this will be my last chance for anything.  
But again, it was all worth it.  
...Because.  
When you stop by tonight, no matter how far I must go, no matter what I must do, what trickery I must instill, what tools I must apply, what...what consequences I will have to face.  
....I'll make my move. 


	3. Night of Regrets

Disclaimer: I don't own Strawberry Panikku!

Your body...My eyes gaze over it. Not naked, just in your uniform, but...It'll do. I enter the room silently, seeing you packing. The information was correct.

...Hehe...My nagisa-chan is so cute and out of it...

*Click*  
Locked, now...

"Tamao-chan?" She'd look at me with those wonderful, big red eyes.  
"Yes, My nagisa-chan?" Just a few steps forward..just a few.  
"Why did you lock the door?" Such an innocent, cute expression!  
"I just need a moment of your ti-.." ...A familiar feeling..Yes...This is when we first met...But this time, I'm not measuring your sizes. "Of your time."  
"A-ah, Tamao-chan, why are you looking at me like...that?" I could have sworn I just heard your nervous heartbeat. But, oh, where to start...Of course..I mean, hey, I don't want to just RAPE you.  
"It's because my nagisa-chan is so cute." Mine....Oh, what a cute sigh!~  
"Ah, Tamao-chan, I've told you before I'm not your..po...sess...ion.." What a cute blush! And all because I got right in front of her "...You are now."  
"N-nani!?"  
....A yelp, a tackle, All I have to do is hold you down, and.  
"T-..tamao-chan...W-what are you doing..?"  
"Gomen, My Nagisa-chan, Demo..."  
"....T-tamao-chan!?!?"  
"So soft...Just let me.." To rub it through your top, it feels..Aaahh~ What a wonderful moment.  
"T-tamao-chan, No, O-onegai..!"  
"S-shush, nagisa-chan.." Then I cross the gap..Oh, her lips on mine...So soft...Better than I had ever imagined.  
"Mmmph....!?" Such a cute, delicate squeal from my Nagisa-chan.  
"Mmm...~" Now, just rubbing a little up and down...Ooh, yes.  
Her blush, so deep, so little struggle now...She's all mine...Maybe I can...  
"....!?!?" Apparently my tongue trying to slip through her delicate lips set her off--  
"N-nani!?" A loud smacking sound. My eyes widen...She--  
"T-tamao-chan...h-how could you!?"W-what have I done.  
"N-nagisa-chan, wait, I...!" A door slams. As I sit there, pressing my hand to my reddened cheek..It...it hurts so bad...It feels like my bone is broken, but it's not...It's just...My heart.  
"W-why did I just..." A sniffle...I...I'm crying...I-I hurt my Nagisa-chan...H-how could I possibly have done anything to endanger her.  
"I...I-it felt so good to touch her, but..." How could I...regret this.


	4. Aftermath

".....Why are you here?" A sigh. Gazing from the window...So many happy people.  
"Shouldn't someone be?" Her and her smile.  
"...I guess so.." She confuses me a little, but she's always been a friend, so.  
"Tamao-chan. It's okay to feel that way even if your best friend doesn't return it.."  
"...Huh..?" A simple stare at her.  
"...." Her eyes...Suddenly, they look so sad...lonely.  
"...It's because you were in the same spot, isn't it?" Of course, her..and.  
"....Yeah." A sigh.  
"I..I see...So you came just to help me out?.." She...she must regret, that.  
"Again, yeah...I know how it feels..Almost exactly the same.."  
"..Does it....Does it ever stop hurting?"  
"....Not really, but...Tamao-chan.."  
"Nani?"  
"You still have a chance." What does she mean?  
"Huh? H-..how!?" I go crazy with hope, clasping her hands tightly, even though her face gets a bit red.  
"Please tell me!" I even drop to my knees.  
"E-er, Tamao-chan, Calm down!"

"Look...Not all is lost..Just...try telling her how you feel, maybe? At the very least at least you'll get it off your mind.."  
"H-..hai! Arigatou!"  
"..Good, and..Good luck. Don't worry, even if it doesn't work, you'll still have your friends and...me."  
"Arigatou Gozaimasu!" A finger on my own chin, I'm confused, so I had to think.....Eh? What's that.  
"...Demo.."I notice something crucial.  
"N-...Nani?" She looks tense and nervous.  
"....Why aren't you at Choir Practice?" A loud thump is heard from her fall.  
"E-er, That's not the issue here..!" 


End file.
